By Stuart Rogers
Also by Stuart Rogers:
Mother in Law’s Revenge
Matron’s Nursery Club
Copyright 2007, MKB e-publishing
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author and publisher.
Any resemblance to events or actual persons, either living or dead, are entirely coincidental.
For ‘normal’ members of the community who have no fetishes (or none that they own up to!), the idea of a grown man gaining pleasure from dressing up as a woman might be hard to understand. It must be even more difficult to appreciate the desire to dress up and behave as a baby and have a fervent wish to be treated like one.
For someone who is a part time transvestite and infantilist, my thoughts occasionally turn to the question of why I should find these activities pleasurable. When I am in the role, I look in the mirror and what stares back at me is not convincing. I frequently wonder why I am drawn to this behaviour and look back for triggers in my life to try and find the cause.
Recently I was given some grainy old photos by my cousin and it brought back clear memories of a summer in my early adolescence. Whether the incidents I identify in this story were the reason for my predeliction or they were merely situations that I allowed to happen because I was ‘that way inclined’, I will never know. What follows is a semi fictional account of a holiday. Most of the incidents did occur, some have been embellished and a few are just fantasies – I’ll leave it up to you to decide which is which!
Names have been changed to avoid embarrassment!
My family had been planning our summer holiday for months. Mum, Dad, my little sister Claire and myself were supposed to be going camping in Wales, but my grandmother had been taken ill. As she lived on her own over 200 miles from our house, Mum decided she had to go and help. She took Claire with her and left Dad and I at home. He cancelled his days off and went back to work in the hope that we could just delay the start of our vacation and take it before the end of the school break.
Mum had spoken to my Aunt Sylvia to see if I could go and stay with them. My two cousins (Margaret and Alice) were older than me and we never really got on as we had very little in common. However, Uncle Steve was in the army, and loved having a boy around the house, so my visits were usually full of activity and great fun.
When I arrived at my Aunties house I was bitterly disappointed to find out that Uncle Steve wasn’t there. My Aunt explained he was away on manoeuvres in Germany for a month. The prospect of a fortnight with my Aunty and two older cousins didn’t thrill me at all.
Because of my stay, Alice had to move out of her bedroom and share with Margaret. They weren’t too pleased either at having to share a room.
Aunt Sylvia tried to keep me entertained, however, she didn’t have much idea about eleven year old boys and I spent the first day bored to death. I was as fed up with my two cousins as they must have been with me. They didn’t want to play outside and I didn’t want to watch them putting make-up on each other, listen to their records or watch them dress up. I suppose they must have found me tiresome as they did make an effort, unlike me.
The girls suggested we play cards, but we soon got fed up with each others company and the game degenerated into an argument. I did manage, eventually, to persuade them to lend me a bike and I toured the area until I found the park and a game of football I could join in. I made several friends that afternoon and promised to return the following day.
The weather next morning was atrocious. My Aunt had a part time job in the mornings and left Margaret in charge until she returned. I had decided that if I couldn’t play out, I was not going to get up. The combined sound of giggling girls and torrential rain made me determined to stay in bed until I could get out of the house.
Quite late on in the morning, I could hear Margaret outside my door urging Alice to enter. After a few minutes of goading each other they entered the room and asked me when I was going to get up. I pulled the covers up to my chin and held them tight. In all honesty, I felt a bit vulnerable laid in bed with the two fully dressed girls looking down at me, but I wasn’t going to let them know that. When I replied that I was a boy and was not going to hang around with girls, they smiled at each other and Margaret told me that they were going to teach me some respect.
She jumped onto the bed and sat on my chest, pinning down my arms under the covers. I struggled frantically to get Margaret off, but she calmly remained in place, seemingly unflustered by my efforts
“To be quite frank David, we don’t like to hang around with objectionable little boys, so today we have decided that you are going to become Davina, our little sister. Those nasty boys clothes will be hidden where you won’t be able to find them,” said Alice.
She gathered up my clothes, placed them in my case and ran out the room. When she came back in, she went across to her wardrobe and started sorting through her clothes.
I hated the feeling of being held down, especially by a girl. I had thought of myself as being stronger than my cousins even though they were both quite tall and I was small for my age. I was beginning to realise that there was very little I could do about my predicament.
“Some of my old clothes might be small enough to fit you.” Said Alice, taking a selection of clothes out of the wardrobe and showing them to Margaret.
“Which ones do you think Margaret?” Alice asked.
I lay immobile under the bedclothes and watched in helpless horror as Alice showed a selection of dresses, skirts and blouses to Margaret. Her eyes lit up when Alice held up a pink ballet dress.
“That’s perfect. I think Davina will look lovely in the tutu Alice.”
By this time my frustration had turned to tears. It had been years since I had cried. I didn’t think they were serious, but the prospect of being forced to dress as a girl by my cousins was nearly too much to bear. The sight of the tears rolling down my cheeks and the sound of my sobbing, didn’t stop them tormenting me, it only spurred them on. Alice went across to the bedroom door and locked it. She took out the key, lifted up her skirt and pushed the key into her knickers.
“OK, Alice, I’ll sit here, you take off his pyjama trousers.”
Margaret pressed firmly down on my shoulders as Alice pulled out the bedclothes at the bottom of the bed and, despite my struggles, pulled off my pyjama bottoms. She then rolled up the bedclothes to expose my lower body.
“I think my silk ballet pants will fit Davina nicely.”
Alice came round to show me the frilly, shiny, pink knickers.
She returned to the bottom of the bed and I started to kick my legs frantically in an effort to stop her putting them on me.
Alice climbed onto the bed and lay down on my legs to restrain them. My sobbing and helpless position seemed to drain any last fight from me and I felt the knickers being forced over my feet and pulled up until they were in place. Margaret turned round to look at Alice’s handiwork and smiled.
“There, there Davina.” she cooed, “what was all the fuss about, don’t they feel nice?”
I didn’t reply, but the feel of cool smooth material rubbing on my skin as I wriggled did produce a very strange and pleasant sensation.
“Come and look in the mirror Davina”. Margaret pulled off the rest of the bedclothes as she climbed off the bed.
They both grabbed me firmly and dragged me to the mirror. I looked at myself, and the two large girls, one each side of me, holding me very securely.
I think they sensed my feeling of helplessness and shame. I made a token effort to take off the panties but they easily stopped me.
“Now take off your pyjama top Davina” ordered Margaret.
I did as I was told, my head hung low. Then they helped me into the satin ballet dress and zipped it up the back. It was a perfect fit, the top half of the dress was very plain, the only embellishment being a panel of pink ribbons that laced across its front. Below the waist, the dress had a very short skirt that stuck out all around me and finished just a few inches below the knickers.
“Alice, can you get your white tights and ballet pumps,” asked Margaret. “I hope they fit her.”
They sat me down on the bed as Alice retrieved the tights from her dressing table drawer. She knelt down in front of me and gathered up the tights before pulling them over my feet and gently rolling them up my legs. I stood up and meekly allowed her to pull them over the knickers.
Next came the ballet pumps. Alice forced them over my feet and wrapped the pink ribbons round my legs before fastening them in large bows.
“Now, if you are a good little girlie and do as you are told, we might just let you go out to play with your friends this afternoon, but until then you can come and play in our bedroom”.
Margaret held my hand as Alice unlocked the door, they then led me through into their room. The tights felt very strange, almost cool as my legs moved producing a strange but not unpleasant feeling.
They sat me down at Margaret’s dressing table and she wiped away my tears and brushed my hair. Alice picked up a large rag doll and sat it on my knee.
“Little girls cuddle dollies.” said Alice “You can have this one. Her name is Jemima.”
“Say hello to Jemima and give her a nice big hug” ordered Margaret.
I felt like throwing it on the floor, but I had a nasty feeling they would keep me in the dress all day if I didn’t do as I was told. I held the doll to my chest.
“Say hello to Jemima.” Alice reminded me.
“Hello Jemima.” I said much to the delight of my cousins. They both giggled.
“That’s a good girl” cooed Alice.
“Your hair is a bit too short to do much with Davina,” commented Margaret, “but I’ll lend you a couple of my prettiest hairslides.”
She clipped two pink bows, into my hair on either side of my head, just above my ears.
“Now you need some make up” said Margaret.
I started to squirm as Margaret dabbed rouge onto my cheeks. Alice came up behind me and held my shoulders as Margaret continued with lipstick and eye shadow.
Margaret stood back to observe the transformation and laughed.
“You look really pretty now Davina, what do you think?” asked Alice.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Even with the makeup, dress and ribbons you could tell I was a boy, only if you ignored my face did I look any way feminine. My two cousins bent over behind me and stared at me in the mirror smiling broadly.
“Do you think you are pretty enough Davina, or would you like some more make up on?” Margaret enquired.
“No more makeup please” I begged.
“OK, but I think you can have some big girl’s perfume.” Margaret sprayed me with the contents of a bottle on her dressing table and I was enveloped in a thick cloying scent.
“We want you to perform a nice ballet for us Davina” said Alice as they both sat on Margaret’s bed.
“Yes” said Margaret, “dance nicely with Jemima.”
They giggled and shouted instructions as I reluctantly moved and leapt around the bedroom. They particularly enjoyed it when the skirt lifted to reveal the knickers. Because of this they made me spin round till I felt giddy and eventually stumbled to the floor dizzy and tired.
“You really make a lovely little girl Davina,” said Margaret, “now jump up on the bed and cuddle your dolly nicely. If you are quiet for an hour, we’ll let you go out.”
As I got onto the bed, Alice pulled the satin bedspread over me. The soft fabric and Margarets perfume wrapped around me I felt very soft and vulnerable.
“To make sure you don’t interrupt us this morning, I want you to put your thumb in your mouth and suck it, and don’t you dare take it out Davina!” added Alice.
I lay curled up on the bed for an hour and a half with my thumb in my mouth before they let me go. Apart from the odd glance in my direction, they totally ignored me.
Alice eventually fetched my clothes and helped me off with the dress and tights, before handing my shorts and tee shirt to me.
“You can keep your nice silky knickers on Davina, just to remind you that you are really our sister. We’ll check you when you come back to make sure you haven’t taken them off, and if you have – you’ll be in big trouble”.
I was that anxious to get out of the house I would have agreed to anything – besides the pants did feel very nice. I was just about to leave when Margaret laughed and reminded me about the make-up. I stood in front of her as she applied lotion and gently wiped it all off with a cotton wool ball.
It was great to get out. It had stopped raining and all the friends I had made the previous afternoon were just about to kick off when I arrived at the park. I enjoyed myself that much that I forgot about the time.
I was about half an hour late for tea when Margaret and Alice came to fetch me. On the way home they took turns to put their hands down my shorts to make sure I still had the knickers on. They were obviously enjoying their success in controlling me.
As we went in to the house Margaret whispered threateningly in my ear “Don’t you dare say anything to Mum about this morning – or else”.
“As long as you promise not to make me do it again” I replied. I had already decided that I would be too humiliated to tell my Aunt and I didn’t think she would believe me anyway.
The evening dragged. My cousins became happier as time passed by and they became confident that I wasn’t going to say anything to Aunt Sylvia. Every time I looked at the girls they appeared to be whispering to each other and then laughing. I was sure it was at my expense.
Aunt Sylvia liked to run things to a schedule and my bed time was fixed at half an hour before my cousins. Just before I was due to go to bed Alice and Margaret left the room and ran upstairs. They returned five minutes later, giggling and nudging each other. At that stage I just wanted to get away from them and decided I would go to bed before I was told. I kissed my Aunty and went up to my room.
The girls had placed Jemima on the pillow of my bed. I lifted my pillow to retrieve my pyjamas and was shocked to see they had been removed and a childish nightie lay in their place.
I was searching the room for my pyjamas when Margaret came in.
She marched across to the bed and picked up the nightdress.
“Why aren’t you ready for bed Davina?” she asked. “When Alice and I come up, we had better find you with this on.” She held out the nightie. “… and we want to see you in bed cuddling Jemima – is that clear?”
I knew I should have gone and told Aunt Sylvia, but for some reason I didn’t feel able to defy Margaret.
I took the nightie from her and she left the room. I pulled it over my head and threaded my arms through the short puffed sleeves.
True to her word, Margaret came in half an hour later with Alice. They peeled back the bedclothes and were delighted to see I had done as I was told.
“That’s a good girl. In the morning you stay in bed until we come in, is that clear?” asked Margaret.
“Yes” I replied dejectedly.
“Night night then Davina” said Margaret and she leant across and gave me a kiss.
“Night Night Davina” echoed Alice and gave me a kiss on the other cheek.
They left the room and I lay there wondering what I should do. Part of me wanted to tear off the nightie and throw the doll from the bed, but another part of me was secretly excited by what was happening and I fell asleep cuddling Jemima.
As instructed, I lay in bed and waited for my cousins next morning. When they finally entered, they sat down on the edge of the bed.
“We are going to play another game this morning Davina, and if you are a good girl we will let you go out and play with your friends again this afternoon.” Margaret informed me.
“But if you don’t do just as you are told, we will invite our friends round to play with our new sister” threatened Alice.
“Are you going to play with us nicely Davina?” asked Margaret.
I knew I had no real choice; the thought of their friends adding to my humiliation was too much to bear.
“OK Margaret” I replied resignedly.
“Good girl. You can start off by having a lovely bath while we decide what you are going to wear.”
Margaret held my hand and pulled me out of bed and across to the bathroom. I followed reluctantly wondering what misery they had in mind for me. The bath had been filled in readiness. They had used scented bubble bath and I stripped off and laid down in the bath.
I could hear them excitedly talking to each other in the bedroom discussing what I should wear. There was some disagreement, but I heard Margaret say.
“He can wear this today and yours tomorrow, OK?”
Alice replied with a resigned “OK”
They came into the bathroom together and Margaret pulled out the plug. Alice held out a towel and I stood up and took it from her.
“Dry yourself off Davina and then come through. We have a beautiful outfit for you to wear. Aren’t you a lucky girl?” Said Margaret, as they left me considering what was in store for me.
I was resigned to letting them have their fun, sure that nothing they had in mind for me was worse than the previous day. When I was dried I wrapped the towel around me and dejectedly walked through to join them.
Alice whipped the towel from me and spread it on the floor.
“Stand on this” she ordered me.
As I complied, Margaret showered me in flowery talcum powder and they slowly rubbed it in to my body. I wasn’t too keen on the smell, but enjoyed the pleasant sensation that resulted from their gentle massage.
“You smell lovely Davina, doesn’t she Alice?” Margaret said.
“Just like a princess!” Alice replied “and soon you are going to look like one.”
On the bed was a selection of girls’ undergarments – white tights, knickers and a flouncy petticoat with an integral satin top.
Margaret handed me the lace trimmed knickers and I put them on. I knew I had no choice.
“Sit down on the bed while we help you put on your tights, Davina” instructed Margaret.
I sat down in a daze and let them put the tights on me. I even lifted my arms to allow them to drop the petticoat over my shoulders. As I stood up its net underskirt dropped around me, reaching nearly to the floor.
“Now Davina, we want you to feel your petticoat and underskirts and tell us what you think.” Alice said.
I rubbed by hands over the smooth bodice of the petticoat. My body tingled as my fingers massaged it throught the smooth silky material. It felt particularly good when my fingers massaged my nipples.
The girls smiled knowingly as I rubbed myself.
“That feel’s nice doesn’t it Davina?” said Alice. I was too embarrassed to admit that it was a very pleasant sensation.
“Tell us, Davina. It’s nice isn’t it?”demanded Margaret.
“Yes Margaret,” I replied begrudgingly.
“Good girl, now sit down on the bed.”
As I sat down, the net underskirt lifted around me. Alice sat next to me and put her arms around my shoulders. The feeling of the underskirt against my stockinged legs, the smooth petticoat bodice on my chest, the overpowering smell of the bubble bath residue and talcum powder enveloped me. These new sensations coupled with the presence of my cousin’s arms wrapped around me made me feel very strange. I knew I was unable to resist my so surrendered to the situation.
“Close your eyes Davina; we have a lovely surprise for you! Keep them closed until I tell you to open them.” Instructed Margaret.
I did as I was told.
“Cover her eyes Alice, to make sure she doesn’t peek.”
Alice moved her hands over my eyes and I heard Margaret open the wardrobe door and take a hanger off the rails. Margaret joined us on the bed and I was sandwiched between the two big girls. Alice removed her hands from my eyes and they held on tightly to me.
“Open your eyes Davina.
I recoiled with horror, I now understood Alices comment about looking like a princess. They held on to me as I tried to wriggle away from them.
Hanging on the wardrobe door was a full length lilac dress. It had a very full skirt and the top was a mass of lace. It had short puffed sleeves and around the middle was a wide silk belt.
“Remember Davina, play nicely or we ask our friends to come round,” warned Margaret.
I stopped struggling, miserable in my helplessness.
“Isn’t that the prettiest dress you have ever seen Davina?” Asked Alice.
“I don’t want to wear it, please don’t make me.” I begged.
“You don’t have any choice sweetheart. From now on, we decide what you are going to wear. Now stop being silly and get up.”
They helped me stand and Margaret held on to me tightly as Alice retrieved the dress.
She undid the zip at the back and took it off the hanger. My cousins stood either side of me and held the dress over my head. I lifted my arms to allow them to be threaded into the sleeves.
“Good girl Davina!” said Margaret as the dress enveloped me and lowered into place.
Margaret stood behind me and pulled the zip up. She put her arms around my waist and straightened the ribbon belt before tying it in a bow behind my back.
The dress was quite heavy and the elastic on the puffed sleeves was tight on my arms. My cousins fussed around, smoothing the dress down and rearranging the lace bodice.
“Just stand there Davina, we want to have a look at our princess.” Ordered Margaret.
They stood back and appraised their efforts. Alice obviously found it my predicament highly amusing and struggled to stop herself laughing.
“Don’t pay any attention to her Davina, I think you look lovely” said Margaret and she placed her arms around me and cuddled me.
“There are just a few finishing touches needed, come with us.”
Margaret and Alice took my hands and led me from the room. The underskirt rustled as my legs and feet tangled in the mass of net. I felt myself taking smaller, slower steps. They pulled me impatiently after them into Margaret’s room.
“When you sit down, you will have to smooth out your dress like this” said Margaret. She demonstrated by putting her hands behind her bottom and pulling them to her knees as she sat on the chair.
“You try Davina”
They made me perform this for them several times until they were happy and I sat in front of Margaret’s dressing table.
Margaret applied makeup to my face and Alice busied herself by fastening a necklace round my neck and clip-on ear rings to my ears. They pinched my ear lobes painfully.
Just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Alice placed a bright pink plastic tiara in my hair.
“Now you do look like a princess Davina!” exclaimed Margaret, obviously pleased with my transformation.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur. Alice teased me incessantly, but Margaret treated me just like a little sister. The emotions I felt were difficult for me to understand and I knew I should hate what was happening, but I slowly and surely began to like the feel of the girls’ clothes. I enjoyed the attention and affection that Margaret showed to me and perversely I found the humiliation that Alice heaped on me strangely exciting too.
I rather enjoyed being helpless and under their control and although I was happy to be freed at lunch time to go out and play, part of me wanted to remain as Davina.
Margaret baby-sat for her next-door neighbours. Alice would also go round to keep her company and to share the cola and crisps that were an added perk of the job. The neighbours didn’t possess a TV so Margaret was glad of the company.
That evening, Margaret had been asked to baby-sit. I was persuaded to go round as they told me they were going to play monopoly and it was ‘no good with only two’.
When the neighbours had left us on our own, Margaret took the pink frilly ballet knickers from her pocket and smiled at Alice.
“Let’s play Mums and Dads instead of monopoly. I’ll be the Dad because I’m the biggest. Alice can be the Mum, so that means that you will be the baby Davina.”
I knew it would be useless struggling, and part of me was excited at being the subject of their torment, however for the sake of my dignity I didn’t want to appear co-operative.
“I really don’t want to play dressing up games” I protested.
This seemed to spur Alice on on and she entered into the spirit of it whole-heartedly.
“I’ll go and get baby’s things” she said.
She left the room and I heard her run up the stairs to the nursery.
She came back with a heavily laden wicker basket and took from it a white rubber sheet which she spread on the floor. Next came a red rubber apron which she put on.
Rubber had always affected me. Up to that point, I had always avoided it, unsure of the strange sensations it caused, and also unsure if these feelings were pleasurable or not. Now it appeared as though I was going to have no choice.
“Come and lie down here, baby” ordered Alice pointing to the sheet.
Dressing as a girl was one thing, but acting like a baby in front of my cousins was not quite so appealing. The excitement of submitting to their will was diminishing.
Margaret sensed my hesitation. She grasped my wrist and forced my arm up my back. I cried out as she pushed me forward and I ended up sprawled in front of Alice who was kneeling on the sheet.
To stop me getting up, Alice sat on my back, grabbed my wrists and held them firmly on the floor. I lay immobile and helpless under my cousin.
The smell of the rubber sheet filled my nostrils and its smooth texture against my face caused my legs to go weak.
“Are you going to be a good baby, or do I have to go down to the park tomorrow and tell your friends that you like dressing up as a little girl and wearing make up” taunted Alice.
I couldn’t bear the thought of the lads I played with knowing about the ballet or bridesmaid dresses and the resistance went from me.
“Turn over Davina, mummy wants to dress you up to make you a pretty baby.”
I turned over and the sight of Alice leaning over me wearing the apron brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.
“Please don’t do this Alice” I begged.
“Quiet baby, you’re too little to talk yet and besides, I’m Mummy.” Alice looked into the basket and took out a dummy.
“If you are going to cry you’d better suck on this.”
I firmly clamped my lips together and moved my head from side to side to stop Alice putting the dummy in my mouth.
“Come on Daddy, make baby suck her dummy.”
Margaret got off the settee and gripped my head between her knees. She squeezed my cheeks between her thumb and finger and forced my mouth open just enough for Alice to push the dummy in.
“And don’t you dare spit it out baby or I’ll be very cross.”
They set to and undid my shirt and shorts and pulled them off. My underpants followed and it was then that I first realised the pleasurable sensation that rubber against my naked body caused.
“I don’t think Davina is trustworthy enough to wear her knickers Mummy”, said Margaret, “she had better have a nappy on”.
Alice took out a bottle of baby lotion from the basket and squirted some on my penis. As she rubbed it in and massaged it between my legs I felt a dull exquisite pain across the lower half of my torso. I groaned involuntarily.
“Listen to baby goo gooing, I think she likes that.” smiled Alice.
She took a white towel and folded it into a large nappy.
“Lift your botty up Davina.”
I did as I was told and she slid the nappy under me and pinned it securely in place. She then wrapped the rubber sheet tightly around me.
“Now you lie there while mummy gets a drink”.
Alice got up and went across to the sideboard where the cola was standing on a tray.
Margaret watched me closely to make sure I didn’t try to escape.
“Would you like some Daddy?” she asked Margaret.
“Yes please.” Margaret replied, and Alice poured a glass full and took it across to her.
“How about you baby, would you like a wickle drinkie?”
I started to answer but Alice stopped me.
“No, you have to say goo goo mama. Go on.”
Reluctantly I did as I was told, the dummy stopped me speaking properly and what came out sounded very babyish. Instead of pouring me a drink, Alice left the room. When she came back a few minutes later, she was screwing the top onto a baby’s feeding bottle full of milk. She came across to me, knelt down and took a plastic bib from the basket.
“Alice, please don’t make me…” I started to plead.
“I won’t tell you again baby” she interrupted sternly. “You will do as you are told! Is that understood? For the rest of this evening you are my baby.”
She unwrapped the sheet and ordered me to sit up. When I did, she fastened the bib around my neck.
“Now lean back” Alice had shuffled forwards so that as I leaned back my shoulders rested on her rubber-covered legs.
She took the dummy from my mouth and pulled my head tightly to her chest. I knew that my face must be nearly as red as the apron it was nestling in to. I looked up at Alice; her face bent over mine, and I saw her grinning. She opened her mouth slowly and deliberately. Even though I was aware of what was going to happen next I felt my mouth opening as wide as hers.
She pushed the teat into my mouth and started to rock slowly backwards and forwards, holding me tightly against her. I began to suck the milk. In the background I could hear Margaret bringing something into the room, it took me a while to empty the bottle and it was only then that Alice released her grip on my head enough for me to see what Margaret had been up to. She was stood next to a black coachbuilt pram and was taking off the cover. She released the hood and pulled it back.
“Baby’s bed is ready for her, Mummy” said Margaret and she came across to us.
Margaret grabbed one side of me and I felt myself being lifted as Alice stood up. They carried me across to the pram and lowered me down into it. My feet and ankles stuck out the end, but they forced me onto my side and bent my legs up until they fitted into the pram. Alice went across to where she had just fed me, picked up the rubber sheet and tucked it in all around me. They then clipped the P.V.C. pram apron into place and lifted the hood.
Although I was aware that my cousins could now make me do anything they wanted and that I should be feeling humiliated and upset, I was in fact feeling strangely secure and happy. I even opened my mouth to accept the dummy when Margarets hand came into the pram. They rocked the pram gently as I sucked on the dummy and fell asleep.
Next day, Aunt Sylvia had gone out shopping. I had been reading in my room until I was joined by Alice and Margaret.
“Look what we’ve bought you with our pocket money” said Alice.
She threw a paper bag onto the bed in front of me, and they both waited impatiently while I opened it and took out what was inside. It was a thick brown rubber dummy, not one with a plastic back and ring, it was solid rubber. They joined me on the bed, one either side of me. My heart was pounding and a feeling of utter helplessness swept over me.
“Go on, try it out Davina” said Alice.
“If you’re a good girl we might show you your other presents too.” joined in Margaret.
Much as I had secretly enjoyed the game at the neighbours when we were baby-sitting, I didn’t want to let my cousins know this. Besides, this dummy was larger and I felt somehow intimidated by it. I was on the verge of crying but fought back the tears.
Alice took the dummy from my trembling hand and pushed it towards my face. I backed off, but Margaret wrapped her arms around me and prevented me from getting away.
“Now open up, babykins.”
I longed to tell them to leave me alone, but knew if I spoke it would come out in sobs and the tears would start to flow.
The dummy was pushed against my lips and Alice pinched my nostrils so that I had to open my mouth. As I did so she pushed the dummy home, it squeeked on my teeth as it passed them and I was aware of a slightly bitter taste.
“We bought you this as well, so you don’t lose your dummy” Margaret unrolled a length of broad pink ribbon. She tied the ends of the ribbon together and looped it through the ring of the dummy and around my neck.
“Your new Mummy and Daddy were in the shed this morning baby, and we found you your very own pushchair. Fetch it in for our little darling.” said Margaret.
Alice went out into the hall and wheeled in the pushchair. It was most probably used by them when they were little as it was clearly quite a few years old. It had a hood on it like a pram and the sides were long and upholstered in soft plastic. The end of the pushchair hinged down to provide the footrest. Just above the hinged part a buckled strap went across which passed through another vertical strap to separate the babies’ legs. Alice locked the door behind her.
“Just wait till you see the beautiful little dress we’ve got for you baby.” said Alice as she went to the wardrobe.
I had seen photographs of Alice wearing the dress which she took out and swung in front of me. She had worn it as Little Bo Peep for the school fancy dress two years before, and won first prize. The dress was long and frilly, having layer upon layer of underskirts. Lace surrounded the neck, hem and arms. The front of the dress was smocked and covered in blue ribbons.
“And just look what there is to go with it!”
Margaret smiled as she showed me a matching bonnet and some full length lacey knickers.
I could hold back the tears no longer. I sobbed uncontrollably at the thought of what was coming. I made a desperate attempt to get off the bed, but Margaret was much too strong for me. She held me in a bear hug, pinning my arms so they couldn’t move. They both laughed as Alice pulled down my shorts and underpants and replaced them with the frilly, lace covered pantaloons. My sobbing stopped as Alice started rubbing my penis through the knickers and the pleasurable feeling replaced my humiliation and shame.
“There, there baby, doesn’t that feel lovely. You’ll feel even nicer when you’ve got your dress on.”
Margaret gradually released her grip. I was enjoying the sensation of Alice playing with my penis, and offered no resistance as Margaret pulled off my tee-shirt. She took the dress off its hanger and put the skirt of the dress over my head. They helped me put my arms into the sleeves, pulled the frock up onto my shoulders and buttoned it up the back.
“Now all you need is your bonnet, little baby”
Margaret picked up the bonnet and pulled it over head. Alice popped the dummy back in my mouth and they both got up off the bed to survey their handiwork. Their smiles told me they were happy with what they had done to me, I just felt ridiculous. I moved my hand towards the bonnet to remove it, hoping that now they had had their fun at my expense, they would let me go.
“Naughty girl!” shouted Margaret as she slapped my hand. I realised that my torment wasn’t over yet.
“Come and try your push chair, Davina.” ordered Alice.
I stood up and moved slowly towards the pushchair, my arms rubbing against the flouncy skirt of the frock as I walked.
They each held one of my arms and guided me impatiently around to the front of the pushchair. Alice undid the leg straps and folded them out of the way. I sat down and to my dismay, found that I fitted into the chair. Alice strapped my legs in place.
“I don’t want baby taking her beautiful bonnet off, Mummy”, said Margaret, “we had better tie her in”.
She already had her dressing gown cord in the pocket of her skirt, so she had obviously planned my fate. The cord was looped around one of my wrists, secured to the arm of the pushchair, passed across my body and the other wrist was fastened in a similar way. I felt totally vulnerable and helpless. They seemed so much larger than me, stood either side of me and looking down at my baby clad body.
“I think I’ll put Davina’s bib on her”, said Alice “I don’t want her dribbling on her pretty frock”.
With that, Alice put the bib on me, the same one I had been forced to wear the other evening. Margaret released the brake on the pushchair and wheeled me over to the mirror.
“Don’t you look sweet my little precious” said Alice. I looked at myself and the reflection of my two tormentors, but was too shamed to answer.
“Say Goo Goo Mama” prompted Alice as she straightened out my bib.
I wriggled uncomfortably, but still didn’t reply.
“Say Goo Goo Mama or else we’ll bring our friends round to play with you!” added Margaret.
The thought of their friends seeing me in this predicament horrified me and I realised that Alice would welcome an excuse to do just that.
“Goo goo mama” I whispered.
It was then that I heard the front door slam.
“I’m home everyone” shouted Aunt Sylvia as she dropped her bags onto the hall floor.
To my distress, I could hear her coming up the stairs.
Margaret quickly undid the cord and put it back in her pocket.
“Remember, this was all your idea David.” hissed Margaret in my ear, “If you tell Mum what happened we’ll deny it, tell all your friends – and beat you up.”
Aunt Sylvia tried the locked door.
“Come on you lot, what are you up to in there,” she shouted jovially as she knocked on the door.
Alice unlocked it and answered “Nothing Mum, David wanted to play at dressing up, so we were helping him”.
Aunt Sylvia stood at the door and her bottom jaw dropped when she saw me.
“You two should know better” she shouted at my cousins, “go to your room”.
My bottom lip started to quiver; I went bright red and then started crying, yet again. I found myself sucking hard on the dummy in an effort to stop the sobbing.
Aunt Sylvia came into the room and shut the door. She came across to me and leaned over as she undid the straps across my legs. It seemed like a nightmare, but I was too conscious of the combined smells of her perfume mixed in with the scent of her leather jacket. I felt her long hair brushing my cheek as she helped me out of the pushchair.
“There, there” she whispered “Aunty isn’t cross with you, it’s OK.”
She put her arms around me guided me across to the bed and cradled me against her. She made no effort to remove my bib, dummy or bonnet, just held my head against her breast as she carried on whispering gently, holding me tightly and rocking me.
When I woke I was completely disorientated. It was starting to get dark and I was in bed and neatly tucked up. The horror of what had happened came back to me as I felt the dummy pushing into my cheek. I must have fallen asleep in Aunt Sylvia’s arms and she had put me to bed. At the side of the bed, the bonnet was laying on the cabinet, but I still had the dress, knickers and bib on.
I got out of bed and attempted to undo the strings of the bib, I couldn’t, they had been tied in a knot. In my panic, I couldn’t undo the buttons to the frock either. Then Aunt Sylvia came in.
“I thought I heard you up and about” she said. “Are you hungry?”
“I am a bit hungry Aunt Sylvia, but please, can you help me to get this stuff off” I replied.
“In a minute, your tea is on the cooker, you jump back into bed and I’ll bring it up here. I thought you might prefer to be away from the girls.”
I got back into bed and a few minutes later Aunt Sylvia returned with a tray, which she placed on the dressing table. When she came across to the bed, I leaned forwards so that she could undo the bib, but she plumped up the pillow instead and pushed me gently, but firmly, back onto it. She then straightened the dress and bib before tucking me tightly in.
“Please undo the bib and dress Aunt Sylvia.” I pleaded.
“Don’t worry” she replied softly, “Margaret and Alice have told me how much you like wearing them and it doesn’t bother me. I must admit I was surprised to see you in your nighty when I came to tuck you in last night, but now I know why. I think you look quite cute. I’m not used to boys and their games, but dressing up and playing mummies and babies is something that I’ll enjoy helping you with”.
“Now I’ll tell you a secret of mine.” she carried on, “your Uncle Steve isn’t on manoeuvres, he’s left us. So in all honesty I’d much rather look after a little girl, I’m not too happy with men at the moment”.
I was lost for words, not knowing what to do. My Aunt seemed less upset than she had been for the rest of my stay and I was frightened that if I told her what had really happened she would be really cross and think I was making it up. I decided to keep quiet.
She went across to the tray and brought back a dish, sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and dipped the spoon into the dish. As she moved the spoon towards my mouth I kept it tightly closed. This didn’t stop her, she pushed the spoon and its sloppy contents against my lips. I could feel the dinner running down my chin until it fell onto the bib.
“Come on my little one, open up for mummy” said my aunt and she opened her mouth as if to show me what to do.
She held the spoon in place until I eventually opened my mouth to accept the food. I felt the spoon enter my mouth and Aunt Sylvia emptied the contents into my mouth by dragging it back against my top lip.
“You are a messy eater, just look at the state of your bib” she said. “We’ll have to make sure you always use one” and winked at me.
She really did seem to enjoy feeding me. When I had finished, she wiped my face with a cloth, took off my bib and pulled the covers up to my chin.
“Now off to sleep my little darling. “Aunt Alice kissed me goodnight and turned out the light.
I woke early next morning and was pleased to see my clothes had been returned. I struggled to remove the dress, got dressed and crept downstairs. I wanted to keep out of my cousins way, so I made myself some sandwiches and left a note to tell my Aunt I was going on a bike ride and wouldn’t be back until tea time.
I spent the day playing football, climbing trees and generally having a wonderful time. In fact I forgot all about my cousins until it got nearer to tea time. It was with some trepidation that I approached the house and the reception was not friendly.
“What have you been doing David?” asked my Aunt “you are absolutely filthy. Strip off at the door and go straight up to the bathroom.”
I undressed down to my underpants and my Aunt put the clothes straight into the washing machine. She led the way up to the bathroom and started running the bath, mixing in some foam bath as it filled up. She tested the water temperature, pulled off my pants, and told me to jump in.
“I’ll be up in a few minutes to give you a good scrub, so don’t get out” said Aunt Sylvia as she pulled the bathroom door to.
As I lay in the bath, I wondered how much longer I was going to have to stay with my cousins. I tried to think of excuses I could use to go back home again. When my aunty came back, she was wearing rubber gloves and a P.V.C. apron.
“Hair first David, lie back” she said.
I always bathed myself and felt very self-conscious laid in the bath with my aunt leaning over me. With her in her present mood I felt it was prudent not to argue. I laid back and she splashed water over my head. She massaged the shampoo into my hair, the rubber gloves squeeking horribly and causing me to flinch. My hair was rinsed by ducking my head under the water. This took me completely by surprise and I came up coughing and spluttering.
She grabbed the sponge and soap and worked up a good lather before roughly scrubbing my back, chest, neck and arms. She then told me to stand up before repeating the same procedure with my bottom and legs. When she asked me to turn round, I coyly covered my penis with my cupped hands, but she pulled them out of the way so sharply I slipped in the bath and my head thumped against the taps. My ears rang and multi coloured patterns danced in front of my eyes. My head began to throb and I could feel myself on the verge of crying.
Aunt Sylvia pulled me towards her and held me tightly, my face buried itself into the cold apron. She stroked my head and face with the yellow rubber gloves. The need to cry passed slowly.
“I’m sorry David, it’s just that I’ve spent all day getting your room ready for you and I was so looking forward to watching your expression when we take you in. Then you came home looking such a mess and I lost my temper.”
Aunt Sylvia held my shoulders, lifted me away from her body, kissed me on top of my head and smiled.
“Better now?” she asked. I nodded in reply. “Let’s get you dried off.” She continued.
She helped me from the bath and wrapped me tightly in a large white bath towel before guiding me out of the bathroom and into Alice’s bedroom. Aunt Sylvia had been busy, while I had been out the room had been reorganised. The bed had been removed and was replaced by a large wooden cot. She turned me round and smiled at me.
“There, isn’t that a nice surprise. When Margaret and Alice told me about the games you had been playing, I remembered their cot was still up in the loft. I’m sure that you will fit in. Come on, try it out.
I felt numb, surely Aunt Sylvia was joking. She bent down and picked me up, my arms were wrapped up so tightly in the towel that I couldn’t stop her.
She carried me across to the cot and laid me down in it.
“Well, isn’t that a lovely surprise David. I know you haven’t been too happy with us up to now, but we can make it up to you for the rest of your stay” said my aunty.
I was mortified. The towel was effectively making me powerless, and my aunty seemed to think I was enjoying it. Judging by what she was saying, she was even considering making me sleep in the cot for the rest of my holiday.
“Please Aunt Sylvia, let me sleep in the bed. I promise I won’t get all dirty again. I’ll do anything.”
My bottom lip was trembling and the words came out in sobs. She stroked my hair with her gloved hand and smiled at me.
“David, it’s all right. You don’t have to pretend. The girls and I have talked it over and we promise not to tell your family, it will be our very own secret. Now we’ve sorted out some of Alices clothes for you and packed yours away, so let’s get you dried then you can get dressed and come down for tea.
Aunt Sylvia unwrapped the towel and gently dried me as I lay in the cot.
“Oh dear David, I seem to have scrubbed you a bit too hard in the bath, let me rub in some baby lotion”
It was a lovely feeling, just laying there being gently massaged with the oil. The smell reminded me of my mum changing my little sister when she was a baby. I closed my eyes to shut out the sight of the cot which surrounded me and enjoyed the tender administrations of my Aunt. When she had finished she helped me out of the cot.
“Seeing as you are lovely and clean, Why not just get ready for bed, then you can put on your dressing gown and be nice and comfy”.
She went to the set of drawers, opened the top one and took out a short cotton nightie. It was white broderie anglais with a small floral pattern embroidered on to it.
“What do you think of this? It’s just like a baby’s nightie. Come and try it on”.
When it became obvious that I wasn’t too happy at the prospect and that I wasn’t going to put the nightie on, Aunt Sylvia’s mood began to change.
“Come on, don’t be silly” she said, but still I hung back.
“Come over here at once!” she shouted, “I haven’t got all night. If you don’t do as you are told, I’ll give you a damn good smack and I’ll tell your Mum about the baby games.”
As I walked across to my Aunt she told me to put my arms up. She popped the nightie over my head and smiled at me.
“There, what was all the fuss about?” She drew me towards her and gave me a cuddle.
“It is a little bit short though, I think you will need these.” She held out a pair of matching knickers so that I could step in to them and she pulled them up.
“Now let’s have no more nonsense. Pop into Margaret’s room and get her to dry your hair and ask for your dressing gown.
“I felt stupid knocking on Margaret’s door dressed in the nightie, but at least I would be able to hide it beneath the dressing gown.
Margaret was expecting me and told me to sit down in front of the mirror. She dried my hair with the hair dryer and put her hair slides into place. When I asked her for the dressing gown she took a pink fleecy one with a white collar and cuffs from the back of her door.
“It was the nearest one we had to a baby’s” she said, “but we’ve stitched on a big fluffy bunny rabbit on to make it more like the real thing.”
“Please can I have my own dressing gown Margaret” I pleaded. “I don’t want to be dressed up like this.”
“Well that’s just too bad Davina” replied Margaret, “It doesn’t really matter what you want. For the rest of your stay, you will just have to do what we say.”
Margaret helped me put on the dressing gown and made me hold her hand as she took me downstairs.
They let me feed myself at tea time, but I had to wear the bib. As soon as I’d finished tea, my Aunt and cousins decided I should go to bed. They all accompanied me up to my room and made sure I got into the cot. Alice found my dummy and held it out for me to put in my mouth.
“Now we don’t want you going out in the morning and getting all dirty again so we are going to lock the door.” said Aunt Sylvia.
I had hoped to find my proper clothes as soon as they were asleep so that I could do exactly what they had suspected. I began to think frantically of a reason for them to leave the door open.
“But what if I want to go to the toilet?” I asked. My Aunt went over to the chest of drawers and took out a large package.
“We’ve thought about that, I bought you some proper disposable nappies for a little girl your size, now lift up her nightie girls and put this on her”.
Aunt Sylvia handed over the nappy and my cousins removed the panties and eagerly put it on me. The thick padding between my legs forced them apart.
“And just to make sure there are no leaks baby, I’ve got you these lovely rubbers… ”
My Aunt came across to the cot and added to my humiliation herself by pulling the rubber pants over the nappy. She released the elasticated waist with a snap and they all laughed as it made me jump. She straightened the nightie and tucked me in before raising the side of the cot. Alice put Jemima in beside me before leaving and my Aunt made sure the ribbon for the dummy was around my neck and the dummy was properly in place. She leaned over the side of the cot and kissed me goodnight before leaving and locking the door.
I thought about getting out of the cot, undressing and sleeping on the floor, but I was unsure what my Aunts reaction would be, besides, even though I knew I should be very miserable about my situation, it was dawning on me that I felt very safe and cosy tucked up in the cot, and even happy.
I had woken when the girls went to bed, but soon dropped off to sleep again. It was after this when I heard the key turning in the lock and and saw my Aunt creep into the room. She turned on the bedside lamp and looked across at me.
“Are you asleep Davina?” she whispered.
“No aunty” I replied with difficulty due to the dummy.
“Have you filled your nappy yet?” she asked.
“No Aunty!” I replied.
She lowered the side of the cot and pushed her hand down the front of my rubber pants to make sure. She looked slightly disappointed when she found that I was still dry.
“I’ve brought my little baby a drinkie. Sit up”
She put her left arm around me. Her right hand was holding a feeding bottle. I took out the dummy and she replaced it with the teat of the bottle. I offered no resistance, but snuggled close to my Aunt as I drank from the bottle. She had changed ready for bed and my cheek pressed against her soft breast through her nightdress. I felt contented as she gently stroked my cheek and her womanly scent surrounded me. I must have fallen asleep whilst drinking, as I cannot remember Aunt Sylvia leaving the room.
I woke early next morning, conscious of an urgent need to visit the bathroom. I got up and tried the door only to find it locked. My discomfort seemed worse when I stood, so I returned to the cot. I raised the side again in case my Aunt came in.
It would be another couple of hours before I could go to the toilet. Much as it disgusted me, I realised the only way I was going to get relief was to use the nappy. I laid in the cot and grimaced as I released the pressure in my lower body. The hot liquid spread throughout the inside of the nappy very quickly. I could feel it streaming up to the elasticated waist and warming the whole of my backside as it poured around me. The relief was tremendous but the feeling of discomfort soon followed. Despite the rubber knickers, I was afraid that the volume of liquid would cause it to leak out and wet the sheets so I pulled back the quilt and removed the covers. On top of the mattress was a rubber sheet which I wrapped around me instead and promptly fell back to sleep.
When I woke again, I looked up to find my Aunt and cousins smiling down at me. It must have been obvious from my position and the shamed look on my face what I had been up to, but they didn’t seem upset.
My aunt pushed her fingers inside the nappy to check and looked at my cousins.
“Well girls, it looks as though we’ve got ourselves a proper little baby to look after for the next couple of weeks.”
“Isn’t it exciting Davina, during the day you can be our little girl, and at night our baby.”
So that was how I spent the two weeks. True to their word, nothing was said to my family when they came to pick me up. It was only when I got home and was unpacking that I found one of my cousins had hidden the dummy in with my clothes.
My grandmother made a full recovery and we went off for our camping trip. I remember feeling jealous of Claire as she sat on my Mothers knee for nursing and I also remember hiding my dummy in my sleeping bag and falling asleep contentedly sucking on it.
Nanny Betty’s Adult Baby Nursery for AB’s and Diaper Lovers
Essex London UK